If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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