So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
