i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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