you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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