Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
