I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
