Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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