Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
