I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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