I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
