And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
