I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
