I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
