I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
