"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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