I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
