the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
