i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
