Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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