you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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