Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
