I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
It's like God shit irony all over that family
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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