party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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