so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
