You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
