brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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