do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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