I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
