Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
