Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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