Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
