does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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