That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
