he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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