I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
