Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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