can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
