there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
