at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize