yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
