I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize
