Kiss
Puke
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Randomize
