just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
