no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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