The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize