After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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