So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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