remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
