found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
