Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
