She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He felt like a one man threesome
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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