he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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