if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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