I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
