So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
