Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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