is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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