those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
