David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
