wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm having to shit out rocks
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
