Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
