i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize