ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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