I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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