that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
