I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
